Those feelings that I feel
It’s getting closer. 3 days now.
When people ask me if I am getting excited about going, of course I answer with yes, but I feel like the word ‘excited’ is just not enough to explain how I am feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely excited, but there are so many other emotions fluttering around in my head that I can’t express through one quick comment how I really am feeling.
Excited- I can’t wait to go and start this experience and see where I will be staying and see Australia in a different light. I am excited to meet new people and learn new things and just be there.
Nervous- this will be my first time flying by myself. I keep thinking about what I am meant to do when I get to Alice Springs like finding the right gate to board the next plane. That’s the kind of stuff my Mum would usually know and then the rest of the family would just follow her or if I went with friends I would just let them lead. I don’t know why but just walking through the security section at airports just makes my stomach turn. I always try and watch the face of the person watching the computer screen that displays what is in peopled bag when my bag comes. I know there is nothing dangerous in my bag, but seeing their face as my bag goes through and not seeing any change in their facial expression is a huge reassurance that I am a good citizen.
Sad- I will miss my best friends birthday :( I keep hearing them and my other friends planning their night out and I am a little jealous that I wont get to be there and celebrate with them. I know to some it may be a silly thing to worry about when you have something as big and important as going away to gain valuable work and life experience, but my best friend is just as important to me.
Scared- I have no idea what I am doing!!! Ok well I generally know what I am doing, but I have only recently (like 4 weeks ago) finished my teaching degree and now I am going off to an area which could be classified as ‘The deep end’, only I didn’t jump in, I volunteered. I think its just one of those things that will pass when I get there and can see what is going on, rather than thinking about it and freaking myself out. (Lets hope it’s that way anyway)
Accomplished/Determined- As mentioned I only just finished uni, but already I have this amazing experience lined up. I am so keen to make the most of this trip and learn as much as I can about working in a preschool and working with Indigenous students and families.
I know there is more going on in my head, but I just cant get it out, but then again, maybe some feelings are meant to be kept private, just for ourselves and that is why we cant always express them. Oh the privllages of being a human!
Sheri :)